Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
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