Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I skipped work to stalk him.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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