So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
