why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
