Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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