saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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