i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
