we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
