I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I AM VODKA MAN
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Randomize
