Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
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