He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
