she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
