i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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