I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
