Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
