I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just found a bag of teeth...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
