ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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