I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
