Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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