I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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