his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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