Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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