Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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