It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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