Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
