No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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