I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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