Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
