You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
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