First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
