Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
