We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
