I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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