I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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