Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
