It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
