He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
