with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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