We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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