my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
