Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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