he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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