I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
