IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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