Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
