his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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