That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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