she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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