How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
