We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
