the condom got lost in my hair
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
