you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
