its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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