you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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